Top 10 Highlights of 2008

In honor of the new year, I thought I would do a top 10 list of my highlights from 2008. Enjoy.

1. Kate & China
The biggest highlight of the year, of course, is the adoption of our daughter, Kate. We were finally matched with our daughter this summer on July 11th. After getting our LOA and TA, we traveled to China for two weeks in October, and on October 13th, 2008 we met her for the very first time. While we were in China, we went through Beijing and saw the Great Wall and the Forbidden City, traveled to Nanjing and Suzhou and walked around the beautiful canals and the Ming mausoleum, and finished up in Guangzhou with some final shopping and the oath ceremony at the US Consulate. After an extremely long flight, we returned home on her 2nd birthday, October 23rd. She has been a constant joy, even as our new family struggles through the newness and strangeness of it all. She has gone from wanting me non-stop for the first two weeks, to not wanting me at all (only Mommy), and now--especially in the last little bit-- she seems to be comfortable with us both (though sometimes she still just wants Mommy). We have worked through a lot of communication issues already: we picked up some Chinese, she seems to understand a lot of English now, and we've all been learning sign language. She loves her brothers, and the boys absolutely adore her. I can't tell you how thankful to God I am that we are now together at last.

2. the Boys
The boys are great kids. I'm so proud to be their dad. This has been a wonderful year with them. Ben and I have always been close, but now that Kate has come along, I think Will is becoming a little less of a Mama's boy and has been closer to me. This summer they both took swim lessons, and they're starting an indoor soccer program next month. In the Fall, Will started preschool two days a week and Ben started half-day Kindergarten five days a week. They are so smart and are great at teaching Kate new things. In 2008 Ben started reading, and I'm so amazed with his ability to read so well (he reads anything and everything he can get his hands on). And Will is very creative and athletic. The work he brings home from school and church are very imaginative, and he's becoming quite coordinated as we play ball together. I'm so excited to watch how they continue to grow!

3. 10-year anniversary
This August, Amy and I celebrated our tenth wedding anniversary, and we took a long weekend trip together to Myrtle Beach (via Chimney Rock, NC). If you know my wife, you know how lucky I am. She is beautiful and sweet and smart and witty. She loves God and her family and supports me and my ministry in a hundred different ways. I love that she "gets it" (i.e. she cares about the things that you're supposed to care about), and she's so great at listening to me go on and on about whatever I need to talk about. She's my favorite.

4. Baptisms
This year, three students from our youth ministry were baptized: Buckley, Sarah and Stefanie. I was also privileged to perform the baptisms for Stefanie, her step-dad Dean, and a new friend, Aaron. It is a huge honor to be a part of such a special moment in their spiritual journey.

5. Toronto
I think the highlight of our youth ministry in 2008 for me was probably our mission trip to Toronto, Canada. It was awesome to be a part of a group of 10 youth and 3 adults from our church to serve in the urban center of Toronto this summer. We had a great time, and I got to witness God using our teenagers to go outside their comfort zone and serve others. I'm continuing to see ripples from this week of ministry all throughout our youth group.

6. Fusion, Summer Internship, and Student Leadership
In my second year of youth ministry here, I'm proud of three new developments. One is our youth ministry network called Fusion. In January, I began contacting and pulling together youth ministers from churches all over town and setting up opportunities for us to get together. In the Fall, we pulled off our first joint venture-- Fusion: United-- community service projects and joint worship service. I've enjoyed getting to know these awesome leaders and look forward to what we'll do together in the future.

Second, we started a summer youth internship program. Blair, a junior at the college next door, worked with the youth this summer and did a fantastic job. She was full of great ideas, was great relating to the youth, and was fun to work with. I've enjoyed hanging out with Blair and am glad that she's continued working with our girls high school small group.

Finally, there were a few students who were ready to take the next step in their relationship with God and their role within the youth ministry. So, we've begun a student leadership program with four students who have committed to being contributors instead of just consumers. We're meeting to talk about what it will take to be the kind of leaders within the student ministry that God wants them to be. It's so exciting seeing their enthusiasm.

7. Jacob & Hawaii
Back in January of this year, Amy's mom took the family to Hawaii for two weeks. It was our Christmas present and basically a last chance to spend family time with Amy's brother, Jacob, and his wife, Alison. Later in 2008 they would leave for the mission field. It will probably be quite some time before we get to spend much time together again, so the trip to Hawaii was such a significant two weeks. It was so nice to escape the cold January winter for the warmth of the Hawaiian beaches. But more than that, it was great for us and the boys to spend some time with some of our favorite people. We saw the sights, ate good food, drank Jamba Juice, visited friends (Kele and Kaala & their kids), sat on the beach, and played together. Especially since Ben and Will miss them so much now, I'm glad we got these two short weeks together.

8. Presidential election
In 2008, we saw the election of Barack Obama as President of the United States of America. I'm still in shock that it happened, but I'm very excited for this new time for America. I saw him in person at the campaign rally for the Democratic nomination in Louisville on May 12th and followed the general election on the news pretty regularly. I'm proud to be a part of this historical moment in our country's history, and I look forward with great anticipation the work that he'll do when he begins his term in office.

9. New Guitar
In March, with some of the money my grandmother left me, I purchased a new guitar. It's a Takamine EG543SC Acoustic Electric, and it's beautiful. It's got a great sound, and I love playing it. I think Grandma would be happy that I'm enjoying it so much :)

10. Cubs, Browns, UK basketball disappoint, but football Cats make 3rd straight bowl game

As you would expect from the Browns and the Cubs, I was very disappointed this year. Both had high expectations-- the Cubs even led the NL in wins-- but both failed miserably. The Cubs got swept in the first round of the playoffs to the Dodgers. The Browns barely even made it out of the gate before finishing the season miserably with two injured QBs, no offensive TDs since early November, and firing the head coach. Pitiful.

The Cats struggled in their first year with new head coach, Billy Gillispie. Had it not been for the emergence of Patrick Patterson it would have been very ugly. And even barely squeaking into the NCAA tournament, we made an early first round exit to Marquette. I don't even remember the last time we were ranked in the top 25. As we head into the SEC part of the schedule in 2009, I'm starting to have some hope for the Cats yet.

On the positive side, congratulations to the underestimated/ overachieving UK football team. Even though no one expected them to have much of a year, they crawled their way across the six and six line into their third-straight bowl game appearance (and hopefully third-straight bowl win). I'll be heading to Memphis tomorrow with great hope that they'll pull another one out, this year against the Conference-USA champions, the East Carolina Pirates.

converting slides

My Christmas present from my parents this year was a little different. I told them if they got me a scanner that converted slides into digital images, I would take on the project of transferring all of my parents' and grandmother's years and years and thousands and thousands of slides into jpg images. So, Merry Christmas to me???

Anyway, I think it will be for me like jigsaw puzzles are for my mom. (By the way, my mom is what you might call a "jigsaw puzzle junkie.") Slow and time consuming. Addictive. Painstakingly detailed. Small victories in completed sections. And something to really be proud of when I'm finished. Unlike her though, I have the benefit of not having to undo all the work I spent so much time on when I'm finished.

I also have the opportunity to show off a few of the treasures I have come across along the way (Wasn't I a cute little kid?):

2009 theme

If you read my last post, you know that I've been working on a 2009 theme for our youth group. I want to invite you to respond with your thoughts by participating in this little poll. (By the way, because I'm not creative, I freely admit that I've stolen all these ideas from other people.) Also, if you have thoughts for images, Scripture passages, or songs that would compliment these themes, please leave those in the comment section! I'm not promising to use the winner, but I'd love to get some honest feedback. Thanks :)

t-shirt time

2008-- "Love Wins"

"We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us." 1 John 3:16

2007--"Becoming"

"Don't worry about your youth. Teach believers with your life: by word, by demeanor, by love, by faith, by integrity." 1 Timothy 4:12

It's that time of year again. Time to come up with a youth group theme, Scripture and t-shirt design for the new year.

Shortly after I came to the church in 2006, I promoted t-shirts for the youth group to begin in some small way the process of developing cohesiveness. I think maybe (at least subconsciously) it helps teenagers feel like they belong, that they know the direction/ theme of the group, and that it helps them have a way to let their friends know that their church is important to them.

I've really liked the first two years we've done this (see above), but I'm still praying and searching for a direction for this year. I've already had some good input from some of the teenagers about what they'd like to see.

I think it's also nice for the youth to have something like a t-shirt to help reminisce about some great times or to remember some awesome things God did in their lives. That's the way it is for me, at least. I have to admit I love my old t-shirts. For the longest time, I held on to old t-shirts from high school and youth group until they were falling apart. I still occasionally sport a Kentucky BSU shirt or a FCA ultimate frisbee shirt. Sometimes when I look at an old t-shirt, I think of some of the best times of my life.

p.s. I'm grateful to Hands On Originals t-shirt company for some great help putting together some fun t-shirts and designs over the years.

update on Kate

I should apologize. If you were faithfully reading this blog, I've let you down. I've not been posting much lately, and I'm sorry. (Hopefully you've used this time to go back and re-read all the wonderful and insightful things I've written in the past... haha.)

In addition to other distractions, I think I've not posted very much because I'm not sure what to say or quite how to articulate my thoughts about the changes in our family.

If you've been around our family recently, you probably know that Kate isn't the daddy's girl she used to be. Since we've been back in the country, she has become attached at the hip with Amy. I don't blame her. Since I have to leave every morning (and often in the evenings and weekends), I'd probably pout, too. Sometimes she just looks at me like she's mad at me and is planning on holding a grudge for a while. The things she used to do that indicated good attachment-- look to me for comfort, hold eye contact, willing to show affection-- she doesn't do nearly as much. So, it makes me feel sad (because I feel like I've lost a little bit of her already) and guilty (because it's my fault that I have to leave her behind all the time).

Don't get me wrong. She's a great little girl and we are so blessed that she is adjusting so well. But I attribute that to two things: One, she has two wonderful brothers that think she hung the moon. She gives Ben the biggest hugs, and Will is constantly making up songs and singing over her! Two, it's because her mommy is so great (and because she's now figured that out!). She really is thriving. And really I can't complain too much... Kate still let's me hold her (at least for a while), take afternoon naps with her, take her to the store, give her baths, feed her, brush teeth, change diapers and clothes, and most other essential things (especially when I get her brothers involved). But it's not what it once was between me and her.

A while back, in order to better facilitate Kate's attachment with her, Amy took over the bedtime ritual (see her recent post). It worked well... maybe too well. Because when I went to put her to bed last week to give Mommy a break, she wanted absolutely nothing to do with me. She cried, kicked and signed "mommy" non-stop for about an hour (all without ever looking at me)... I think we underestimated each others' stubbornness. The decibel level only grew whenever I said that Daddy loved her or that Mommy was not coming. She would not settle down no matter what I tried. In fact, she worked herself into such a fit and got choked on so much snot and mucus that she threw up twice. After changing clothes and bed sheets... and tactics and positions... she finally wore herself out and settled down in her bed with me laying next to her. Exhausted she fell asleep. Since then, Amy and I have been doing bedtime together more often... at least when I'm home in time. I hope this helps Kate attach with both of us.

So pray for us... that we'll know what to do. That we'll know how to build trust and acceptance. That we'll know when to hold on and when to back off. That she'll know that we are her Mommy and Daddy and love her more deeply than we can say.

And let there be no doubt, even in the midst of what will likely be a temporary struggle, truly God is good and we have much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving season!

Is God Really Enough?

In the last couple days I've been priviledged to participate in an interesting theological discussion on facebook with several folks from NKU and their campus minister, Brian (an old college friend of mine). It started out with Brian's post, "Is God Really Enough?":

Question get your attention? :) No, I am not questioning God as the creator and provider of all things. :) I spoke at our worship service last night and this was one of the questions I posed to spark some discussion in hopes of further developing our Christian Community within the NKU BCM as well as on the campus of NKU. Will you go with me for a minute...

Look at Genesis 1 & 2...God has just created man (Adam). In Chapter 1, as he created each day, He ended the day by saying it was Good. After He created man (Adam & Eve), he said it was Very Good. There is something special about humans that God created... Now, in Chapter 2...after everything had just been declared "Good" and "Very Good", God says in Verse 18, "It is not good for man to be alone..." Amongst all the good, God declares something that was not good. This has been interesting for me to ponder. Why was it not good? Maybe because it was incomplete? Not accomplishing what God wanted accomplished?

I often hear comments from people that as long as I have my relationship with God, that is all that really matters...God is enough. I find it interesting that this is exactly the situation Adam is in in Genesis 2 and yet, it seems that God deemed that that was not enough...something was missing. This led me to another question...Is there a void in our life that God will not fill? Note that I did not say that He could not fill it. He is perfectly capable of doing so. But, in this instance in Genesis 2, it seems that He has left a void in Adam's life that God did not fill. (Also note, that the fall had not occurred yet...) Verse 18 concludes with, "...I will make a helper suitable for him." Scripture goes on to describe the process that ultimately resulted in a suitable helper/companion being created...Eve...another human.

Could it be that from the beginning God created us (humans) to experience community much like the community/relationship experienced among the Trinity? Could it be that we are missing part of the point when we do not emphasize that God really is enough in the context of Christian community? Could it be that one reason the Church is not getting much traction with the Gospel in the world is that we are missing a large part if ourselves?

These are some thoughts I am working through...there are likely holes of reason and understanding. Will you help me explore these questions by engaging this discussion with me? I think the process of exploration in these areas trusting that God, through His Holy Spirit will guide us to His answers, will be a way to spur one another on to futher growth in our relationship with God and each other. Hope to hear from you!

Which caused me to do some thinking... and give input into the discussion, too:

Just a thought... Was the Trinity not enough for God? Isn't that why he created humans? Maybe the bigger picture is that community-in-and-of-itself isn't what is missing... maybe an ever-growing, more-inclusive community is what God is pointing to here. (A community which constantly adds more to it, e.g. the Trinity adding Adam, Adam adding Eve, the first family adding children, etc.) Yet another aspect to the Abrahamic covenant: You are blessed to be a blessing... bring more people into the "family," if you will.

Personally, this has been more real to me through our adoption of Kate. I'm not enough... Me and Amy aren't enough... Me, Amy and my 2 sons aren't enough... We felt it deep in our souls to love another and open up our family to this amazing little girl. As in the case of the Trinity, even good can become better. Or, maybe put another way, good can become "not good" if it never grows beyond itself.

And this, too (after further discussion):

Yes, thanks James for the word of caution. I really don't mean to imply that God was not self-sustaining, but nevertheless I don't want to miss the way that God builds something of himself into his human creation, a.k.a. "created in his image."

Brian, great job explaining what I was trying to say... I should let you speak for me more often :) Like you, I guess I might use the word "satisfied." When you look at the creative and redeeming nature of God, it reveals an unwillingness to be satisfied with things as they are. (Also, maybe that's why ours is a God of linear history instead of recurring cycles and reincarnation?) I mean, really, isn't the problem with many churches that they're often satisfied NOT reaching out beyond themselves? Why does this annoy God? Because the people who call themselves by his name are acting in a way that is inconsistent with his character! I believe it is part of who God is that he is always seeking, inviting, welcoming, opening doors, breaking down barriers, growing, renewing, recapturing, redeeming...

So is God enough for God? Does God need more than God? "Need"? I wouldn't go that far. "Desire"? I truly think so. Forgive me if I overstate the point, but I feel that God's love moves him to be dissatisfied.

I'm interested... does this make sense? What does everyone else think?

live blogging from the KBYMA

Our state's Baptist Youth Ministry Association is meeting during the annual convention. Right now about 25 youth pastors are sitting around discussing what can we do about the trend for older high school students and college students to drop out of church. What needs to change? How can we operate within the structures that values keeping things the same? Why do our churches sometimes value only "good kids"? How can we keep teens connected through these transitions (driver's license, college, etc.)? How does a youth pastor's longevity factor into this? Is it simply that we're not offering anything good enough to compete with all the options that are now available to them? Is our message deficient... leaving out what's necessary to create deeper commitment? How do we measure things... what are some ways to tell "when it sticks"? Good questions that demand thoughtful and creative solutions.

Our jump off point were some quotes taken from the recent Catalyst conference...
“To reach people no one else is reaching, we must do things no one else is doing.”
“Become preoccupied with those you haven’t reached as opposed to those you are trying to keep.”
“The next generation product almost never comes from the previous generation.”
“Be a student, not a critic.”
“If we got kicked out and the board brought in a new CEO, what would he do? Why shouldn’t we walk out the door, come back in, and do it ourselves?”
“We fall in love with the way we do ministry so we keep it around.”
“What do I believe is impossible to do in my field… but if it could be done would fundamentally change my business?”
“Pay attention to the people who are breaking the rules. Rule breakers are often problem-solvers.”
“When your memories exceed your dreams, the end is near.”
“Don’t let success overshadow your vision.”

new creation

New Creation from Pace Hartfield on Vimeo.

the political campaign model

In honor of "Super Tuesday," I thought I would post some thoughts (Yes, I know... it's dangerous to stray too far from pictures and stories about my daughter, especially into politics!).

A friend of mine posted on his blog asking what the church could learn from political campaigns. The following was my reply:

"I'm afraid it has been a lesson in what-not-to-do, as it relates to faith and the kingdom of God...
1. Campaigns exist to promote the leader. In the church, God's design is for leaders to promote the people (though we see it modeled the other way all the time).
2. In campaigns, it's all about the event. You get people to make a "decision" the will determine their (sic!) future. Though this is how a lot of people talk about Christianity, I think Jesus models a faith that is intended to be more of a journey that has several key points of commitments and evidences of maturity all along the way. Our faith is intended to move us toward the image of Jesus reflected in us, not simply praying a prayer, a.k.a. marking the right box on a ballot.
3. In campaigns the ultimate commodity is image. You can't afford to be really authentic-- it's too risky. On the other hand, the church should be a community of real people who live authentic and vulnerable lives, modeled by its leaders.
4. Campaigns often don't seem to differentiate in priority of issues. On a scale of 1 to 10, everything is a 10: health care, social security, the economy, national security, civil liberties, judgment, education, etc. In the church, not everything is a 10. The death and resurrection of Jesus is a 10. What translation of the Bible you prefer is probably a 1. (However, as we all know, there are many churches that treat 1's like 10's.)
5. In campaigns, the most utilized way of influencing people is through well-placed rhetoric (either inspiring or fear-based). Commercials, billboards, debates, yard signs. "America first." "Change you can believe it." I think the leadership example of Jesus says influence comes through relationships, serving one another, and tangible expressions of love. "They will know you are my disciples if you love one another."

I guess that's enough for now. There's a lot to learn from the political campaigns, but I'm afraid it mostly helps me see how the ways of God are fundamentally different from the ways of the rest of the world!"

What do you think?

since we've been home...

Well, we're back home from China, and everyone is doing great! It's much colder here than it was in Guangzhou.

I want to say "thank you" for all the support and encouragement that so many of you have given to us while we traveled to bring home our daughter.

Mostly because our last moments in China and flights back to the States were relatively uneventful (with some exceptions), I won't rehash any of that. You can check out Amy's blog for some of those updates.

But since we have been back, we have been very busy. We got in on Thursday, grabbed some dinner and pretty much went straight to bed. So last Friday, with a full night's rest, I got up and went to work that morning to get some things done... and took Kate with me. As you have probably read, she's a bit of a daddy's girl so I thought I'd try to ease her into my absence by taking her with me that morning and letting everyone else get some more sleep. It was fine because I always love showing her off, and Kate amazes me with how she handles new things so well. So that afternoon I had a meeting, so I left her at the house with Amy and kids and again she handled that very well, too. Kate has the boys-- who she absolutely adores!-- around most of the time (Ben has school only until 11:00am and Will only goes twice a week). So I think my going back to work has actually helped her and Amy's bonding experience. We finished up the day with some visits from friends and a good homecooked meal (Amy's meatloaf, mashed potatoes and peas = yum!), and judging from the amount Kate ate, she must have really liked it :)

(she loves those gloves)

Each night we've been trying to adjust our sleep to the new time zones and slowly it's getting better and better. So Saturday morning we laid around the house (the boys watched Qubo). And that afternoon I was leading a church event most of the day, so Amy carted the kids off to lunch with the girls in Lexington. I ended the night by finishing some prep for church and catching up on a little college football.

Sunday we went to church. That was fun. Kate went to big church with us and had a great time. She didn't seem to be at all overwhelmed... maybe a little nervous at times when strangers got too close. But she did great. She loved the music--she wouldn't sit still, clapping and wiggling around to the music! And I loved showing off my beautiful daughter. Later, Grammy and Boopa stopped by to meet their newest grandchild, went out to eat and came back for a little belated birthday cake and ice cream. Though Will sang "Happy Birthday" to her over and over on her actual birthday on Thursday and with the "party" on Sunday, I'm not sure she understands this whole birthday thing yet.

Monday Ben started back to school, and we're working hard to get back to "normal." It was my day off, so we just hung around the house. Amy did some grocery and clothes shopping. The boys watched some movies they got in China (Bugs Bunny and VeggieTales "Pirates Who Don't Do Anything"). Later, "we" carved the pumpkin... "we" means that I gutted it myself, carved it myself, and got to clean it up myself... they told me what shapes to make the eyes, nose and mouth :) Later, when Amy bathed the kids, I cleaned up the kitchen and baked pumpkin seeds. This was the first time I had ever tried baking pumpkin seeds myself, but I remember when I was a kid my mom doing this all the time. So I called my mom to ask what to do. Funny thing is that she said my brother, Brian, tried the same thing this year, too. It turns out Kate likes the pumpkin seeds, too.

Tuesday was pretty uneventful, I guess. I took the kids to school and went to work. We had spaghetti for dinner, and Kate loved it. We're glad she likes so many things, though she still doesn't seem to care for peanut butter, pizza, oranges or milk. I gave the kids their baths, but I had a hard time putting Kate to bed. I guess I forgot how tricky bedtime can sometimes be with two-year olds. Amy was great and was eventually able to get her in bed.

Wednesday was a big day. The church had their "Trunk-or-Treat" event where the adults decorate the trunks of their vehicles and pass out candy to the kids dressed in their Halloween costumes. It's a lot of fun. The boys dressed as Transformers--Ben as Bumblebee and Will as Optimus Prime. Kate became the third of our kids to wear the hand-me-down puppy dog costume, but she was very cute. It turned out to be an appropriate costume, too. I had told the youth on Sunday morning about my daughter and her middle name, Xuna, which was part of the name she was given at the orphanage. The "Xu" part of the name represents the year in which she was born, according to the Chinese zodiac. She was born in the year of the dog, and when each dog year roles around on the calendar it is paired with an elemental attribute. 2006 is fire dog. So many of the youth of my church are going around calling my daughter "Fire Dog." So anyway, it was a great time... lots of candy, tired kids and frozen toes :)

This morning our son Will got to show his preschool class pictures from his trip to China. We helped him show pictures of him with his sister, pictures from on the Great Wall, Tian An Men Square, the stone animal road at the Ming Mausoleum, and on trains, boats and playgrounds in China. I think he was proud to show off a little.

We have been unbelievably blessed with Kate's progress so far. She is such a joy to our family, and praise to God for bringing her so far so quickly! It is so amazing how in love I am with this little girl. And if you've not met her yet, I can't wait for you to see her.


* I apologize for not having more pictures here, but the battery on our home computer completely died so we can't access almost all of the pictures we've taken since we've been home. Hopefully soon.

guangzhou

Here is some video from Suzhou... It's fun to see our family interact. I think Kate must think all we ever do is eat (which seems to be okay by her!).

We are now in Guangzhou. We flew in early yesterday (Monday morning) from Nanjing. Here's a picture from the flight, not long before she spilled that cup of water (pictured on the right) all over my shirt and lap. Nice.

Once we arrived and checked into the White Swan hotel, we had a fairly Americanized lunch at Lucy's down the street. More expensive but worth it. We then took Kate to her visa picture and medical examination for the paperwork for the American consulate. Not fun, but I'm glad she's so healthy. That evening, Amy worked diligently preparing all the paperwork to be filed this morning. (Great job, honey!) Because that took a while, we ate a late dinner at an Italian restaurant a little walk from the hotel. Not bad. I think everyone enjoyed it pretty well.

This morning we really didn't have anything scheduled. Just be available in our rooms from 9:00am to 10:30am while our guide filed our paperwork with the US consulate so she could contact us if there were any complications. Along with the other families from our agency, we dressed up all the kids in traditional Chinese clothing for pictures. Isn't our daughter beautiful? Then a little trip to go shopping and pick up some pizza for dinner. Because there were no naps, we just sent everyone to bed early tonight!

Tomorrow is our last full day in China. I guess we'll take part in the oath ceremony at the US consulate and try to get everything packed up. This may be my last post until we're back, but, for all you who twitter, I'll probably update once we arrive in Detroit.

24 things I've learned about my daughter

Since tomorrow morning it will have been a week since "gotcha day," I thought I would post a few of the things I have learned about Kate since we met...

1. She is absolutely perfect.
2. She loves to be carried by her Baba.
3. She could eat bananas and shrimp (which she needs me to peel and de-head) non-stop.
4. She has a fascination for electronics... constantly playing with the phone, the cameras, the tv remote, and any other buttons and knobs she can get her hands on.
5. She likes to carry things around, either her toothbrush or comb (though she doesn't actually like to use them) or she puts things in bags and carries them around.
6. Speaking of toothbrushes, she doesn't like anyone messing with her lip or her mouth (which makes it hard to brush teeth).
7. She likes the color pink and looks adorable in tights.
8. She needs a nap in the afternoon and wakes up in a good mood.
9. She feels the need to hold the water bottle lids, and occasionally comes along and grabs open containers and dumps them out.
10. She loves peek-a-boo, kissing noises, is ticklish, and has a hilarious low-toned belly laugh when she gets going.
11. She slaps her head after she has bumped it on something.
12. She's got these long, slender fingers and toes (and, when I put her in bed, she likes it when I kiss her feet).
13. She poops in twos.
14. She usually calms down when she is sung to.
15. She uses her head to block food she doesn't want to eat (it looks like she's bowing).
16. She cries all throughout bath time.
17. She thinks her Mommy is hilarious and thinks it's funny when she makes kissing noises.
18. She loves attention from Dai Ge Ben and Er Ge Will.
19. She seems to think sunglasses are great for leaving fingerprints.
20. She is hot-natured and sweaty.
21. Though we think she might have an ear ache now, she is generally healthy and has been well-taken care of (and takes medicine pretty well).
22. She doesn't drink from a bottle, straw or cup, only with a spoon (because of the cleft in her palate).
23. She has learned to appreciate chocolate ice cream.
24. She is more wonderful than I deserve!!!

what I appreciate

First, some pictures... This is how I spend most of my time (carrying Kate in my arms)... oh, my poor back! Ben has been dealing with a bit of homesickness the last couple days. I don't think I'm homesick, but there are some things I suppose I miss about home. From my traveling these past several days in China, I have learned to appreciate (or re-appreciate) a number of things...

1. 110 voltage: With all the things we brought that need charging, one power converter barely covers it.

2. US tap water and milk: We cannot drink water in China, except bottled water... which includes no brushing teeth with it, eating fruit or vegetables washed in tap water, open mouths in the shower, ice in our drinks, etc. And because of the recent problems with people getting sick from milk in China, we're avoiding milk... and the boys love milk. Not that they don't love getting to drink Sprite all the time, but we all miss a nice cold glass of milk these days.

3. Laundry facilities: With the 44-pound weight restriction on baggage and the limit to one checked bag on flights in China, we only packed for one week and are now on week two of our trip. This means we have been doing laundry, some of it Amy has been doing in the tub and others were done by a laundry service. I put on some of the "professionally" laundered clothes today and they smelled less than fresh. On top of that, after several hours, my skin started breaking out in a rash! Apparently I'm allergic to the detergent the laundry service used (thankfully, my underwear was washed in-house!).

4. Traffic rules: I experienced this quite a bit on my previous visit to China, but there's no way to explain the driving here. Traffic rules here are, at best, traffic "suggestions." Pass on a double-yellow line? No problem (even with oncoming traffic headed right at you). Honking is not rude or angry; it's merely necessary to let other drivers know you are close. The confluence of cars, vans, bicycles and motor bikes is amazing, indeed. (However, train travel--like in Europe--is so nice... I really wish we utilized this more in the States.)

5. The 112 miles between our house and Mimi's: I love my mother-in-law and am so glad to have her help with the boys on the trip. She does a great job with Ben and Will, and I think it's so great that they've gotten to experience this. But after so much non-stop time together, I think Mimi and I will both be happy for a little distance when we get back home.

6. Variety in food: I think I've done a good job of eating. If you know me, you know I can be a picky eater, but I haven't complained about the food. We've had breakfast buffets at our hotels, which always have bread or toast, eggs, OJ, and some other things I like (plus, I'm not much of a breakfast eater anyway). For other meals, we've tried a number of places. We ate at a hot pot place a couple days ago (very spicy); we were served lunch when we visited the orphanage; we ate at a noodle place tonight; and a couple other "local" places along our tours. We are certainly getting our fill of rice. There are a few other options, too... McDonalds, Burger King, KFC and we found a Papa John's, too. All in all, I'm getting burnt out on these limited options though. I could really go for some good home cooking right about now (or at least a Cracker Barrel).

7. Media: This goes both ways. I appreciate the distance from the media because it gives me a break from the political circus (commercials, coverage, phone calls, polls, etc.). It also helps me deal with my heartbreak over the Cubs not being in the NLCS or World Series (at least I don't have to watch the horrible Phillies play the games the Cubs should have been playing). But I miss my cell phone and text messaging, college and NFL football, ESPN sports radio and updated podcasts, and the new episodes of Heroes and CSI.

8. Self-sufficient children: Now that Ben and Will are old enough to take care of themselves so much, I didn't realize how hard it was going to be to go back to taking care of every need of a toddler. On top of that, since I'm the only one Kate has totally bonded with, it's left to me to feed her (which is sometimes tricky, especially liquids), bath her, diaper her, cloth her, rock her, tuck her in, supervise her playtime, give her medicine, brush her teeth, sit with her in the van, carry her on the tours, and be there at any moment she wants something. It makes it harder that she can't tell me what she wants but still gets mad at me when I don't get it right. I love Kate so much and have totally enjoyed being her beloved Daddy, but now after six days, I'm ready for some help :) I hope she bonds with Amy soon!

These (along with soft beds, air-conditioning, and non-tonal languages) are just some of the things I've grown to appreciate more over the last 10 days.

what you come here for

I don't doubt that the reason most of you come to visit my blog is for the videos I've been posting, so here you go. This is from the Humble Administrator's Garden we visited yesterday. We attracted quite a crowd. Enjoy.

Daddy's Little Girl

(Brushing our teeth!)

A quick update. (I don't have much time... I distracted her with Cheerios, but she won't let me be away from her too long!)

Everything has been going very well. We went to the Civil Affairs office this morning to sign all the paperwork to make Kate officially ours (at least as far as the Chinese government is concerned)! We had to take Kate with us back to the place where we picked her up yesterday. She seemed to handle it pretty well. Actually, when some of the orphanage workers who brought her to us yesterday tried to get her to come to them, she refused to leave my side! Wow. However, she was not especially patient of the time it took to complete the paperwork... many times she got upset with me that when she grabbed my hand I wouldn't follow her outside.

Also, a highlight of my night yesterday: She got upset and started crying just before bedtime, so it was left to me to try to soothe her. I picked her up and took her to the bedroom. I bounced her for a moment, which soon led to dancing in circles, which soon led to me singing to her. For some reason, James Taylor's "You Are My Only One" came to my head. She loved it. She hugged my neck a little tighter, took some deep breaths, and totally gave it up. I have no words to describe what this feels like to have this strong connection already with this precious little girl. Like I said before, she's the other woman of my dreams!

I'm the luckiest dad in the world

My daughter is amazing. I can't believe we are finally together! I am even more amazed that she has bonded with me so well already! Oh, how my heart is ready to burst :)

(my new favorite picture, I think)

Well, since I'm nice and all, I let Amy get on-line first after we put Kate to bed tonight (that, and it's taking me a long time to convert all the video to the computer). So, go visit her blog soon.

Amy is quite amazing, too. What you don't know is that, because I knew it was common for the adopted child to have a preference for one parent over the other, I was afraid I would be the one rejected. What would have devestated me, Amy is handling wonderfully. She has been great, finding opportunities to bond little by little, helping me out all the time, and encouraging me and giving me confidence that I'm doing a good job.

Video of our first moments with Kate...

Some time well spent at Haagen Dazs...

Some more updates

This morning we visited Tian An Men Square. It was pretty amazing... a strange mix of leftover Olympic and Para-Olympic decorations with a strong communist nationalism (exemplified in the very, very long line of people waiting to walk past the body of Chairman Mao).

Close by was the Forbidden City. What an interesting clash in political ideology. Next to Tian An Men, the symbol of socialism and economic equality, was the Forbidden City, the sprawling palace that was once reserved strictly for the emperor and his family (now crammed with masses of people ironically enough). It certainly provides a visual reminder (propaganda?) of the extreme excesses of this kind of empire over against the teachings of communism.

We arrived in Nanjing tonight and are hoping for a good nights sleep. It's funny... driving through Nanjiing (and walking around the hotel a little), it reminds me much more of the China I experienced 11 years ago (looks and smells). I noticed several roadside vendors selling meat on a stick, people coming up to you to try to sell you stuff (a la "Hello Banana Lady"), and I even had myself a Magnum bar for good measure. Shawn is probably the only one who'll read this and know what in the world I'm talking about :)

By the way, don't forget you can see our travel itinerary (with links for more info) here.

Well, just a reminder... tomorrow is the big day! In about 13 hours (Sunday night for you), we will meet our daughter. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. We hope to post some great pictures and videos soon!

China in review (so far)

If you're wondering what our travel to China has been like so far, you can read some notes on Amy's blog. But here's a video recap of the trip over from Ben and Will's perspective :)

This was video is from this morning on the Great Wall of China. Will and I had found a spot to rest and wait for Amy and Ben to catch up with us. (Be sure to notice Ben in background yelling, "We'll see you in a minute!") The scenery was magnificent.

And it's true. Ben, and especially Will, are quite popular. It's hard to tell how many times we were stopped by people asking to take a picture with them. (I might need to google "picture with a cute white kid with freckles and dimples on the Great Wall of China" to see how many of those pictures have been posted to the web!) Even in a shopping center where we ate lunch today, Will was being stalked around every corner by two clerks trying to get him to give them hugs (see picture below). I'm afraid they'll start thinking they're celebrities.

(Also a quick shout out to Dad for the power converter that is making all these updates possible--keeping our camera, computer, video camera and all other technology charged! Thanks!)

here we go!

A lot of people have been asking me if I'm excited about leaving tomorrow for China. Honestly, I don't know how to answer them. Of course I'm excited! I mean, we're flying half way around the world with my whole family (including my mother-in-law). We're getting ready to add a little girl to our family full of boys. And this little girl, who's almost two years old, doesn't know us... doesn't know English... we don't know Chinese... and we are going to take her from everything she's ever known to live with us back here. Exciting? Terrifying and wonderful and sad and beautiful and traumatic and a dream come true and, yes, exciting, too.

This morning I woke up with butterflies in my stomach. (My stomach is always the first physical indicator that something's going on.) I guess it's kicking in that I'm about to leave on a journey that will forever change my life... to meet the other woman of my dreams :) Amy told me earlier that she has to tell herself to breathe. My prayer has long been that I would be a really good father. Ben and Will have been relatively easy so far, but a girl--will I know what to do? Talk about heartache! I know this little girl will have the capacity to either make my heart soar or break it to pieces. With all my heart, I hope I can be everything she needs.

I love you, Kate. I can't wait!

8 days to go

How is it that time is moving so slowly? (Although I still can't seem to get everything accomplished I've got on my to-do list!) I can't wait to get my arms around this little girl!


These pictures are now six months old, but we just got them last week in a file we were sent from our agency. What a wonderful surprise! (Click here for more recent pictures.)

One week from tomorrow we get on the plane to China, and in 11 days from right now (given the time change) we should be meeting our daughter! I can't believe how amazing this is.

We're hoping to have good internet access on our trip so that we can post regular updates to our blogs-- this one and Amy's (see "Raising Tomatoes" on the right-hand side of the page). We look forward to reading your comments as we post from China.

thoughts on "stress"

I love it when, even in the midst of leading a Bible study, God puts some pieces together in a whole new way.

This past Sunday morning during our normal youth Bible study, we were talking about dealing with stress and the things that cause stress. I had already planned and prepared, but in the midst of sharing some Scripture, God showed me a really cool connection that has really stuck with me.

1 Peter 5:7 says, "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." There are some things that I care about that others don't care about like I do (e.g. my wife doesn't care about my baseball card collection, some old books I've held onto, or my large collection of baseball caps). It's okay, but knowing her love of yard sales, I don't trust her with these things. In this verse, God assures us that he is trustworthy... he truly cares about us and the things we care about (the things that cause us stress). Because he cares about our cares like we do, we can feel confident to trust him with them, to "cast our anxiety on him."

Add that to this verse: Matthew 6:33, "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." It seems that God is also saying that he wants to change our focus. He wants to make sure that our priority is him and his kingdom, and, as a result, the other things we care about will be taken care of, too. He wants us to replace our worry with another activity--pursuing him. It seems that he is saying, "I want you to care most about the things I care most about."

Which I think leads to this muddled, but insightful, principle related to the stress in our lives: God cares about what I care about, but he also wants me to care about what he cares about. This is the heart of deep relationships--interconnectedness. Shared priorities. Mutual concerns. Loving one another.


(By the way, Amy really does care about the things I care the most about... I just like giving her a hard time about how much she likes getting rid of things in yard sales.)

I thought this looked fun...

China Travel Itinerary

I don't know what you're going to do with your October, but here's most of mine...

October
9th-- leave home at 11:15am, through Detriot and Tokyo
10th-- arrive in Beijing at 9:35pm (Beijing Traders Hotel)
11th-- visit Summer Palace and Great Wall (Juyongguan section)
12th-- visit Tian An Men Square and the Forbidden City, fly to Nanjing (Manderin Garden Hotel)
13th-- meet our daughter, Kate!!!
14th-- civil affairs office for registration
15th-- train to Suzhou (Kate's birthplace), visit Humble Administrator's Garden and Panmen Scenic Area (Holiday Inn Youlian Suzhou)
16th-- visit Tong Li Town, the water county and Suzhou Embroidery Institute
17th-- visit Suzhou Children's Welfare Institute (SWI) and Lingering Garden, back to Nanjing (Manderin Garden Hotel)
18th-- visit Ming Dynasty Emporers' Tombs
19th-- visit Qin Huai River
20th-- fly to Guangzhou (White Swan Hotel), medical check-up, fill out forms for US consulate, get Kate's passport
21st-- guide helps complete consulate documents
22nd-- oath ceremony
23rd-- leave Guangzhou at 8:20am, through Tokyo and Detroit, arrive home at 4:25PM

"Grab a Corner"

If you've been following my blog for a while, you know I changed the web address. It used to include my last name, so for a little extra anonymity out in cyberspace, I recently changed it to http://www.grabacorner.blogspot.com/. I suppose it's about time I give a little explanation of the new title.

Early on in my dating relationship with Amy, I remember actually uttering the phrase, "I don't need anyone." I knew I liked being around people, and it wasn't much fun if you didn't have friends or family. But I thought that a sign of my inner strength and fortitude was that I felt that my fulfillment as a human being was not dependant on any other person. (Surprisingly, she didn't dump me immediately for my naive foolishness.) What I grew to realize was, instead of it being an indication of weakness, the need for other people is a fundamental part of the way God created me to be human. In interdependency, there is strength.

Let me see if I can explain. Check out this list. These are but a few of the things I feel that God has called me to do in life:

• Be a faithful husband, loving Amy sacrificially ("as Christ loved the church," Eph. 5:25)
• Raise all three of my children to love God and nurture in them a desire to have a relationship with Him
• Adopt and care for our precious daughter... provide her with a loving family.
• Be fully engaged in God's Word and let it live within me
• Have a meaningful prayer life that connects my heart with the heart of God
• Lead youth, their families, and our church to join God in the mission of reclaiming the world for Himself
• Come alongside teenagers to lead them on the journey of becoming fully-developed disciples of Jesus
• Actively worship God in a way that brings him honor and joy
• Serve the people of my community and my world in meaningful and restorative ways
• Share the story of my Savior with other people
• "Act justly, love mercy and to walk humbly with my God," Micah 6:8

Now, looking at this list, how many of these things do you think I can actually accomplish by myself? None. I can try, but I will be much more successful in being all that God has intended for me to be as I depend on other people helping me. Case in point: since God did not speak to me from the sky or drop a Bible in my lap, if it were not for other people, I would not be a follower of Jesus today. I needed others to point me to God, and I still need them today.

That's why I love the story in Mark 2 of the paralytic man and his friends. Here's this man, paralyzed, who is unable to help himself. Maybe if he could get to Jesus to heal him, but he could never get there unaided. So I can imagine in my mind the scene, this man's friends saying to one another, "We can do something about our friend's disability. We can carry him to Jesus." Not only was this man unable to help himself, but none of his friends by themselves could get him to Jesus either. So by the time they rounded up four of them, I can hear the first call out to the other three, "Hey, grab a corner. We'll get him to Jesus." The rest of the story goes on to tell about them being undeterred by the crowd and lowering the paralyzed man down in front of Jesus through the ceiling by pulling aside the roofing of the house Jesus was at. It says in verse five, "When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, 'Son, your sins are forgiven.'" Then it says Jesus healed him and the paralytic man got up from his mat and could walk.

There's a lot that God wants me to do, but I need help. So I guess that's what I want my blog to be about. In the variety of things I write about-- adoption, youth ministry, changing the world--I want to invite you to jump on with me. Go ahead. Let's go. Grab a corner.

highlight videos

A couple highlight videos from youth trips this summer...

a different kind of trip

We found out last weekend that we got our official Travel Approval to go to China, and a couple days later got back our passports with their Chinese visas (above, on left). But we were disappointed to learn that the US Consulate did not have any available openings until October 21st to schedule us for the finalization of the adoption on the American side of things. I guess this is what should be expected when you are working with bureaucracies from two different countries!

So we will be traveling to China on October 9th. But this isn't my first trip to China.

I first traveled to China in the summer of 1997 (see visa at top, right side) when, along with five other college students (Shawn, Sharon, Qny, Momi and Angie), I spent five weeks in Yangshuo, Guangxi (near Guilin). We traveled through Hong Kong and southern China by boat, train, airplane, bus, taxi, bicycle and foot. We saw breathtaking landscapes filled with limestone mountains and terraced rice fields, picturesque towns with pagodas and ancestral shrines, and amazing cities with skyscrapers that climb to the sky. We spent our time with a school full of kids (mostly around 13 and 14 years old). We learned Chinese and taught English. We played basketball and ping pong and learned tai chi and mahjong. We snacked on "sheep-on-a-stick" at roadside vendors, dined on some odd-looking pizza at "americanized" cafes while they showed movies (like an "edited" version of Braveheart), and accepted invitations to traditional Chinese meals (where I was first introduced to beer... "Gan Bei"!). We tubed down the Li Jiang and bicycled to Moon Hill. We haggled in the marketplaces and took lots of pictures. We danced and laughed at birthday celebrations and wept, hugged and set off firecrackers at good-byes. The most amazing part for me was answering the girl who asked, "Teach me how to pray," and hearing my closest friend, Cook (pictured below), tell me that he believed. It was an awesome trip, and I can't imagine what my life would have been without it.

Now 11 years later, I will be going on my second trip to China. Like before, I expect to see a lot of amazing sights and experience meaningful moments. But this trip will be a very different kind of trip. Two weeks instead of five. Through Beijing instead of Hong Kong. Probably pretty comfortable accommodations throughout. Again, I will be there with five others with me... but they'll be my family members Amy, Ben, Will, Mimi (my mother-in-law) and Kate. But the purpose of this trip is to adopt my daughter! We will arrive in Beijing, meet our agency workers, adjust to the new time zone and then meet our daughter in her home province of Jiangsu. We have to spend a week together with her there according to the Chinese guidelines of international adoption. Then we will go to Guangzhuo to the US Consulate to swear on oath that we will take care of her and raise her well. We are so excited to finally be with this little girl that we have planned for and prayed for for so many years.

I can't wait to return to such a beautiful and wonderful country that I have grown to love dearly. Though this is an extremely different kind of trip, I'm not sure this journey would have happened if it weren't for the impact of my first trip to China.

Loyalties

Ok. Let's go ahead and put it out there so there's no confusion.

I'm a little worried about something. I'm afraid I'm about to be labeled a "fairweather fan" as I continue to root for the Chicago Cubs. Now that they sit atop the Central Division--and in fact the entire National League-- going into the final stretch (29 games) of the regular season, I'm balancing a nervous excitement about the possibility of making the World Series with a deep dread that something bad is going to happen. We, Cubs fans, hold our breath at the very notion of success. But please don't think that just because they are doing well this year that I'm jumping on with the bandwagon. Here's the history. Just about all my friends who are my age are either Atlanta Braves fans or Cubs fans (and consequently hate the other team). It's a result of limited TV programming in Kentucky in the 1980's really. Either you watched TBS and the Braves or WGN and the Cubs. The Reds weren't on TV so not many people rooted for them. In 1992, I talked my parents into taking our summer vacation to Chicago so that I could "look at potential colleges." Yeah, right-- Wrigley Field, baby! So I'm a fan of the Cubs and greats such as Ryne Sandberg, Mark Grace, Harry Caray, Andre Dawson, Sammy Sosa, and Moises Alou (despite the 2003 Bartman foul ball situation). I still can't forgive Greg Maddux for going to the Braves in 1993 (even though he eventually came back to the Cubs in '04). And I'm proud of the team we have put together with Zambrano, Soriano, Woods, Derrek Lee, Aramis Ramirez, and Edmonds. Strong. I have loved and angonized with the Cubs for many years now. I'm looking forward to an exciting/ heartbreaking October!

And just so it's known and out there...
1. College basketball: University of Kentucky (1998 alumni) 2. Amercian League baseball: Cleveland Indians (born in and family from northern Ohio) 3. NFL football: Cleveland Browns 4. NBA: Cleveland Cavaliers (old school logo!) 5. College Football: THE Ohio State Buckeyes (and also Kentucky)