hard books & surgeries

(* in the interest of full disclosure, you should know that I'm typing this on a decently sophisticated cell phone.)

Right now I am sitting on a lay-down chair in my daughter's warm hospital room on a cold, snowy day... and I feel especially aware of the irony of it all.

Firstly, I am so thankful to the Lord for letting Kate's surgery today go so smoothly. This was a real blessing for her and for me and Amy.

We left the house at 5am, and made our way cautiously (and safely) to the hospital. Kate had been in a great mood up until the time they picked her up and carried her away from her Mom and Dad into the OR. They began with the ear tubes and were done before we knew it. The cleft repair and minor lip revision took a little longer (about an hour and a half). She's been a combination of grumpy, scared, mad, hurting, confused, apprehensive, and sleepy all day. Honestly, she has slept and cuddled most of the day, with short bouts of crying mixed in. I knew she'd want Mommy immediately, but I was thrilled that she allowed me to comfort her quite a bit! We will talk to the surgeon more tomorrow, but the roof of her mouth looks good from our perspective. On the other hand, she may have messed up some of the stitching on her lip "touch up."

Probably not coincidentally, I finally finished reading "Everything Must Change" by Brian McLaren, as Kate lay sleeping on my chest this evening. This is one of those super hard books. It focuses on how the world is caught in this suicidal web of overconsumption in pursuing prosperity, violence in trying to attain security, and inequality that results from attempting to guarantee the other two... and it's all reinforced by a broken "framing story." He paints a bleak picture where we're all caught up in this self-destructive mess, none more so than the United States. It's shocking to read about our military... that we have enough nuclear weapons to destroy ten planet earths, or that it costs $100 million per day to keep our weapons poised and ready, or that so much of our economy is based on arms sales (even often supplying weapons to both sides of a conflict). McLaren writes about our unsustainable consumption and our gross exploitation of the world's poor.

But he also talks about hope and a new vision. This is where it gets hard because it calls for rejecting or "defecting from" the ordinary way the world works which is so pervasive and all-encompassing in favor of "the kingdom of God." Besides feeling powerless because it seems like there's little I can do to change the big societal problems, it challenges me with the inconvenience of doing many little things I CAN do (and by doing so begin to change some of the culture around me).

Ok, so here's the irony. I'm acutely aware all the sudden of how this is related to today. Inequality. How many of those here who lost their power today in the ice storm are cognizant of the millions who live without it daily? Prosperity. Did I ever think about the kind of prosperity system that makes possible a surgery like this? What do people on the other side of the world (particularly the developing world) think about my ease of access to medical care, especially non-life-threatening, life-enhancing medical care? What's it mean that by virtue of her residence in the US, Kate has this kind of care afforded her (almost as a right)? And what do I now do with this? I know as a Chinese orphan, there's a good chance she wouldn't have had this opportunity, and the adoption itself is a part of this kind of living out of the Kingdom. But despite this, is my prosperity somehow at the expense of someone else? In a global community, it seems like I should be asking questions like this. I don't know. (It doesn't help that I saw a complaint about internet access and read about a shopping trip described as "heaven" earlier, either.) Don't get me wrong, I'm extremely grateful that Kate will have benefited from this procedure. I just somehow have this sense that I've unknowingly bought into the Empire of Caesar more than the Kingdom of God sometimes.

Is God Really Enough?

In the last couple days I've been priviledged to participate in an interesting theological discussion on facebook with several folks from NKU and their campus minister, Brian (an old college friend of mine). It started out with Brian's post, "Is God Really Enough?":

Question get your attention? :) No, I am not questioning God as the creator and provider of all things. :) I spoke at our worship service last night and this was one of the questions I posed to spark some discussion in hopes of further developing our Christian Community within the NKU BCM as well as on the campus of NKU. Will you go with me for a minute...

Look at Genesis 1 & 2...God has just created man (Adam). In Chapter 1, as he created each day, He ended the day by saying it was Good. After He created man (Adam & Eve), he said it was Very Good. There is something special about humans that God created... Now, in Chapter 2...after everything had just been declared "Good" and "Very Good", God says in Verse 18, "It is not good for man to be alone..." Amongst all the good, God declares something that was not good. This has been interesting for me to ponder. Why was it not good? Maybe because it was incomplete? Not accomplishing what God wanted accomplished?

I often hear comments from people that as long as I have my relationship with God, that is all that really matters...God is enough. I find it interesting that this is exactly the situation Adam is in in Genesis 2 and yet, it seems that God deemed that that was not enough...something was missing. This led me to another question...Is there a void in our life that God will not fill? Note that I did not say that He could not fill it. He is perfectly capable of doing so. But, in this instance in Genesis 2, it seems that He has left a void in Adam's life that God did not fill. (Also note, that the fall had not occurred yet...) Verse 18 concludes with, "...I will make a helper suitable for him." Scripture goes on to describe the process that ultimately resulted in a suitable helper/companion being created...Eve...another human.

Could it be that from the beginning God created us (humans) to experience community much like the community/relationship experienced among the Trinity? Could it be that we are missing part of the point when we do not emphasize that God really is enough in the context of Christian community? Could it be that one reason the Church is not getting much traction with the Gospel in the world is that we are missing a large part if ourselves?

These are some thoughts I am working through...there are likely holes of reason and understanding. Will you help me explore these questions by engaging this discussion with me? I think the process of exploration in these areas trusting that God, through His Holy Spirit will guide us to His answers, will be a way to spur one another on to futher growth in our relationship with God and each other. Hope to hear from you!

Which caused me to do some thinking... and give input into the discussion, too:

Just a thought... Was the Trinity not enough for God? Isn't that why he created humans? Maybe the bigger picture is that community-in-and-of-itself isn't what is missing... maybe an ever-growing, more-inclusive community is what God is pointing to here. (A community which constantly adds more to it, e.g. the Trinity adding Adam, Adam adding Eve, the first family adding children, etc.) Yet another aspect to the Abrahamic covenant: You are blessed to be a blessing... bring more people into the "family," if you will.

Personally, this has been more real to me through our adoption of Kate. I'm not enough... Me and Amy aren't enough... Me, Amy and my 2 sons aren't enough... We felt it deep in our souls to love another and open up our family to this amazing little girl. As in the case of the Trinity, even good can become better. Or, maybe put another way, good can become "not good" if it never grows beyond itself.

And this, too (after further discussion):

Yes, thanks James for the word of caution. I really don't mean to imply that God was not self-sustaining, but nevertheless I don't want to miss the way that God builds something of himself into his human creation, a.k.a. "created in his image."

Brian, great job explaining what I was trying to say... I should let you speak for me more often :) Like you, I guess I might use the word "satisfied." When you look at the creative and redeeming nature of God, it reveals an unwillingness to be satisfied with things as they are. (Also, maybe that's why ours is a God of linear history instead of recurring cycles and reincarnation?) I mean, really, isn't the problem with many churches that they're often satisfied NOT reaching out beyond themselves? Why does this annoy God? Because the people who call themselves by his name are acting in a way that is inconsistent with his character! I believe it is part of who God is that he is always seeking, inviting, welcoming, opening doors, breaking down barriers, growing, renewing, recapturing, redeeming...

So is God enough for God? Does God need more than God? "Need"? I wouldn't go that far. "Desire"? I truly think so. Forgive me if I overstate the point, but I feel that God's love moves him to be dissatisfied.

I'm interested... does this make sense? What does everyone else think?