More "24 things I've learned about my daughter"

Last year after the first week with Kate Nana, I posted a list of 24 things I learned about my daughter. Since today is the one-year anniversary of her adoption, a.k.a. "gotcha day," I thought I would add to the list what I've learned.

1. She is even more absolutely perfect-er (cf. last year's #1).
2. She is brilliant. Watching her play, interact, sign and learn new things, I'm convinced she's a genius.
3. She is now an incurable "mama's girl." The first several weeks of her new life with us, she was the ultimate daddy's girl, never wanting to leave my arms. But coming home and with me going back to work during the day, she soon attached herself to Amy and now has an unmistakable preference for her mom. (It's okay though, I'm learning to deal with it and am waiting a few years until she reverts back to daddy's little girl.)
4. She's a feisty, independent woman. Kate loves to do things on her own. "I do it," she says.
5. She loves to do whatever her brothers are doing, including playing trucks, screaming at the top of her lungs, or wrestling as pretend superheroes.
6. She won't wear hair bows or barrettes, so we're forced to cut her bangs (which kills me). Sometimes she'll let us put her hair up in pig tails.
7. She can get her feelings hurt pretty easy when you tell her "no."
8. She is quite athletic... she's maybe the best of the three kids at soccer!
9. She is very excited about starting preschool in two weeks. She talks about it non-stop.
10. She is potty trained... mostly.
11. She loves houseboats, pools, and "baybing soos" (bathing suits).
12. She likes to eat treats (ice cream, candy, gum, milkshakes, "emmies"-M&Ms) and meat (hotdogs, chicken, bologna), but mostly just stares at fruits and veggies (though she likes lima beans and asparagus most of the time).
13. She loves to talk on the phone... which is funny because very few of us can understand her, especially when she gets to rattling off some big story.
14. Like most women, she changes her mind early and often.
15. She sings like an angel. Part of our nighttime singing ritual usually includes "The B-I-B-L-E" and "Jesus Loves Me."
16. She is getting more and more used to her reconstructed palate and learning to make lots of new sounds and funny faces with her mouth :) And her ear tubes have worked wonderful so far to keep away earaches. We're still hopeful that she'll eventually have full hearing in both ears.

17. She is ticklish everywhere and has a contagious laugh, along with the most beautiful smile... careful, it will melt you!
18. She doesn't seem to have many of those tearful "grieving moments" anymore... though she still requires one of us to stay by her room until she falls asleep each night.

19. She loves to "help." Whatever it is, she wants to be in on it with the excuse "I want to help!"
20. She likes to wear dresses, tights and anything pink... or with Spiderman on it!
21. She is growing very big and tall. It's hard to believe she'll be 3 years old soon!
22. She likes to go on trips and doesn't like to be left home when anyone is going out.
23. She's still very hot-natured... it's funny how easily she works up a good sweat.
24. And she's still much more wonderful than I deserve!!!! I'm so thankful to be her dad.

top 10 advice to young aspiring ministers

Last week I spoke at Georgetown College's Intro to Ministry class and shared with them my top ten words of advice. Since they are young aspiring ministry students, I thought of what I would have needed to hear the most when I was in their place 11 years ago. Here's my list:

1. Do what is life-giving. Do what you are gifted in and what gives you life regardless of recognition or pay; don't settle for the supposed "optimal career path." Ministries like student ministry, education, missions, etc. are not stepping stones to "real ministry." Also in whatever ministry they end up in, I want to encourage them to make sure they get to do a good chunk of what is life-giving, not just life-draining. For me, it's things like my guys small group. I have at least 3 other adult volunteers who could do this for me, but because it is something that gives me life, I make sure I get to do it.

2. Affirm truth/ faith/ good/ creativity wherever you see it. Don't be that guy who thinks that God only works through you. Be willing to affirm God's work around you. It's not a threat to your value or success if other's are doing good. It's like the disciple John in Mark 9:38 who says, "We saw a man driving out demons in your name and we told him to stop, because he was not one of us," but who Jesus affirms saying, "Do not stop him... anyone who gives you a cup of water in my name because you belong to Christ will certainly not lose his reward."

3. Play well with others. Be willing to network with others in your field, which for me is other youth ministers. And also foster good relationships with the people you minister to and with, which in my context includes other staff, parents, and schools. You'll need to lean on these relationships sooner or later.

4. Eat your frog first thing in the morning (this is my key to working efficiently). Mark Twain is quoted as saying, "Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day." What I have learned is that when I do the thing I least want to do first thing in the morning, it makes the rest of my day much more productive. What happens if I put it off is that I spend time distracted, wasting time avoiding it, and worrying about it so that it grows bigger and bigger and becomes harder and harder to eat. Small frogs are not fun, but it's better than the big ones.

5. Think relationally... specifically close, long-term and vulnerable. Most ministry students have probably heard the importance of relational ministry, but let me be a little more specific with what I mean. I think it's extremely important to minister in close proximity to those you hope to influence. This is especially evident when I have participated in inner city mission work... nothing can replace getting down on your knees, touching a hand and looking directly into the eyes of a child of God suffering under poverty and homelessness. Also, the value of long-term ministry is sometimes neglected. Youth ministry has been perpetually plagued by brief stays and quick departures, and studies have shown how deeply it has impacted ineffectiveness (it's not hard to imagine why that is). Longevity can make a huge difference. And finally, you need to understand that your healing is interconnected with the healing of others. Recognize that you're not in ministry because you have it all together and want to make everyone else whole... rather, we are vulnerable in admitting that we find our own healing in bringing healing to others. As I stated in a recent blog post, I believe God made us in such a way that our salvation is interconnected. "We cannot fully recover until we help the society that made us sick recover." That's why we care about the lost, the orphan, the hungry, the planet... so that we will find healing for the brokenness in our own soul through it.

6. Major in English... and maybe philosophy. Good writing and communication skills are an issue of credibility. I admit I'm personally put off by something poorly written, poorly edited, or not well-thought out. In whatever ministry context you find yourself, you will need to be a good writer as you prepare lessons, sermons, bulletin announcements, newsletters, prayer updates or whatever. Your writing skills will make a huge difference on how your material is received.

7. You don't know what you don't know. Any education you can get is great. With that said, seminary is really only one tool along with other very valuable and up-to-date resources like internships, low pressure ministry jobs, mentors, learning experiences, conferences and books. I think I learned the most from early ministry jobs that allowed for a lot of room to mess up (mostly because they didn't pay very much and were just happy to have someone!). And since you don't know what you don't know, by all means learn to listen and allow people to give you helpful advice. (By the way, I'll be accepting applications for next summer's youth ministry internship soon!)

8. Be ready to reinvent ministry. Change is guaranteed, so learn to embrace it in creativity for new generations. Lord help us if ministry looks the same tomorrow as it does today!

9. You are a human being, not a human doing. Jesus says in Matthew 16:26, "And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?" So don't neglect who you are becoming because you are focused on what you are doing and accomplishing. Your value is not in what you do, but in who you are. So the question isn't "what do you want to do when you grow up?" but "what do you want to be when you grow up?"

10. The world needs you... even if they don't know it yet. You're right, this isn't so much a piece of advice as much as it is an encouragement. When you are called to ministry, I want you to know that what you are doing is extremely valuable. You are giving yourself away for the sake of the world. However, so that you don't get carried away, you should also know that you need the world, too. (And, by the way, don't ever let this become an excuse to neglect your first ministry-- your family!)

What do you think? What would be your top ten list of advice?